Your Heart's Desire
by LornaTheLoop
Summary: Remus found the Mirror of Erised three times in his life, he did not know what it did, but watched as his desires changed as he grew from boy to teen to man. One-shot SBRL


Remus wandered about the large castle, it was past midnight, but he couldn't sleep. It was only his first week at Hogwarts; he wasn't quite used to the vastness or the grandeur of the beautiful castle. It greatly contrasted to the small, old house he had lived in for the first eleven years of his life.

The bronze-haired boy flinched slightly and felt a tight knot of dread as he glimpsed the almost full moon through a window.

Suddenly, the eerie silence was broken by mad cackling. Remus realised that this would be Peeves the Poltergeist. Peeves was a small, mischievous spirit that loved to wreak havoc and particularly enjoyed bullying "firsties". Remus slid silently through the nearest door, closed it and placed his ear against the wooden frame, listening.

When he heard Peeves pass, he sighed, relieved that he had managed to dodge him, as he would have called Filch and then he would have ended up in detention. He had so far managed to avoid detention. He couldn't say the same for his new friends, Sirius, James and Peter.

Sirius and James were both full of themselves, but they were cheeky and funny, and made Remus feel like he was truly welcome for the first time of his life. He felt his heart beat slightly faster as he remembered Sirius helping him drag his trunk onto the Hogwarts Express. This, of course was a normal reaction to a best friend, right? Remus didn't know; he'd never had a friend before.

Remus turned around to look into the room he was in. It was a dull, old classroom. Clearly no lessons had been held here for some years as there was an evident neglected, dusty feel to the room. There were desks and chairs, turned over, some missing legs. Someone, probably Peeves, had written several swear words and a rude sketch on the chalk board.

However, the oddest thing about this room was not the abandoned atmosphere, but a large ornate mirror that stood in the corner opposite the door, half hidden in shadow.

Remus drew slightly closer to it, stopping just to the side of it, so he could not quite see his reflection. Instead, he looked at the inscription; _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi. _

Remus had never come across a language such as this in the many books he had read before. He stood for another minute, pondering this strange sentence, before stepping in front of the mirror, and gazing into its depths.

For a second, he saw his own pale and worried face, half hidden by slightly disheveled bronze-coloured hair. Then, it changed, there was the small boy, but he was smiling. He held up a goblet of some unknown potion and drank it. Remus gasped as reflection of a full moon appeared over the Mirror-Remus' head. He jumped around, but the window was to his left, the moon couldn't have been reflected from there, plus, it wasn't the full moon yet!

Remus turned back towards the mirror, Mirror-Remus wasn't transforming. He just kept smiling. Mirror-Remus was cured of the burden of Lycanthropy.

Remus stared unbelieving at the mirror. Did it show the future? Was this cure in the making? Or was it a trick? A dangerous object, which lured it's viewer into a hopefulness, only to be brought crashing down into reality and depression?

Remus took two steps back, eyes still open wide, and then, fearing some dark magic, he fled the scene.

* * *

"Padfoot, Prongs!" Remus yelled down the corridor, desperately trying to make himself heard as the two other boys thundered on ahead, eager to get on with their prank.

Remus stopped dead as a pair of yellow eyes came around the corner, Mrs Norris.

"Shit." Remus thought to himself.

The minute he realised that Filch, the caretaker, would surely come to find the trouble maker; he heard the wheezy breathing and rasping voice.

Remus slipped into the nearest room, and closed the door softly behind him, listening to the sounds of the caretaker talk to his beloved cat.

"What is it my sweet?" he croaked, lovingly, "A student out of bed? We'll get them, we will, Detention for wandering around after hours! What I wouldn't give to be able to hang them in the dungeons for a couple hours, they sure wouldn't dare misbehave again!"

There was shuffling footsteps as Filch ran off down the corridor. He seemed to have disregarded this room, just as he had seemed to have forgotten to clean it for many years.

Remus swore at his two best friends in his head. They had been up for pulling a marvellous prank, Remus had run after them to try and stop them. And it had almost got him a detention. You would have thought they would have grown up a bit since first year, but no. Now they were in fifth year. Remus was a prefect, James was madly in love with a pretty, smart girl in their year and Sirius remained the school heart-throb and heart-breaker.

Remus' insides wriggled as he thought of Sirius. As he thought of Sirius' smile, his hair, his bark-like laugh. Remus couldn't help but smile as he thought of the black-haired boy, the effortlessly handsome boy.

When the latter was changing in the dormitory, revealing tanned, muscular abs or else, wrestling playfully with Remus, trying to steal his precious chocolate; these were the hardest times to hide his true feelings for his best friend.

Remus stood up, sighing. Then he realised which dusty and neglected room he was in. There were chairs and desks, upturned, a couple missing a leg. A number of swear words and a rude sketch drawn on the chalk board, barely noticeable now.

The bronze-haired boy looked into the corner of the room. There stood a large ornate mirror, hidden in the shadow. Remus approached it, tentatively, remembering the last time he was here.

He had seen himself as a normal wizard, not a werewolf. He was curious as to what he would see now. He looked up at the strange inscription; _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi._

He had looked it up a couple of times, when he had finished all his homework and was between books, but had not found the meaning or any indication of the language.

He looked into the depths of the mirror again. He saw himself for a split second, pale and scarred, then it changed. There were two people standing there now. The second had beautiful grey eyes and gorgeous shoulder length black hair. He was grinning and just radiated that effortless charm, even in mirror form.

The werewolf watched as the Mirror-Sirius took Mirror-Remus' hand. Watched as they stopped looking out of the mirror, to the real world, and turned to each other. Mirror-Sirius raised his hand, to touch the back of Mirror-Remus' head and pulled him close. Mirror-Sirius gently pressed his lips against his partner. Mirror-Remus melted into the embrace, pulling the other boy closer to him, deepening the kiss. Soon their hands were in each other's hair, each kissing with more and more passion, more longing.

The real Remus, who had been frozen to the spot, turned and ran back to his dormitory. Again, he feared there had been some form of dark magic trying to drive him insane.

* * *

Remus walked slowly through the corridor, treading a now familiar path. He felt like his world was just dissolving around him. Almost a year ago his best friend and first and only love had died. Sirius Black had won over Remus' heart, and they had spent a few happy years together until they were cruelly seperated. They were reunited, however Sirius was on the run from the Ministry. Hardly two years after that Sirius was killed by his own cousin, leaving a black hole where Remus' heart had once resided.

Now, barley even a year after that death, the first man to ever trust him was murdered. Mere hours ago, Albus Dumbledore was killed. This was the man who had let Remus come to Hogwarts, who trusted him, who forgave when he betrayed that trust in his foolish adolescence, who gave him a job when no one else would hire him. Now he was dead. Now he was gone.

Remus couldn't comprehend this.

The prematurely aging man entered a familiar neglected and dusty room. The desks were now pushed up against the walls; the broken ones had been removed. One of the chalkboard's legs had broken, so it was now tilted to the right, everything that had once been written there had been lost in time.

Remus' eyes were drawn to the mirror in the corner, however. He approached it cautiously, hesitated for a split second, and then looked into its depths once more.

Staring back at him for a second, was his own reflection, lined and scarred and very depressed looking. Then it changed into another man. This man had wavy, shoulder-length black hair. He was wearing a somber smile and his grey eyes had a slightly dead look to them.

Mirror-Sirius raised his hand and placed it against the glass of the mirror. Remus copied it, placing his hand over where Mirror-Sirius had his. Remus looked into those dead eyes, he could still see some of the elegant beauty that Azkaban had stolen from him.

Mirror-Sirius smiled weakly and Remus felt a solitary tear roll down his cheek.

Keeping his hand where it was, he looked up at the inscription; _Erised stra ehru oyt ube cafru oyt on wohsi_, and finally understood.

He read it backwards; I show not your face but your heart's desire.

Remus removed his hand from the glass of the mirror. It was not full of dark magic, but it still was dangerous. Surely its purpose was to drive people mad through hopeless longing?

But it did serve one good purpose.

"I-I never got to say goodbye." He croaked to Mirror-Sirius, "I love you, Sirius."

Mirror-Sirius smiled for real this time, and Remus took that as confirmation that he understood.

Trying hard to suppress the sobs that were fighting to break from his throat, he left the room for the last time. He vowed never to return.


End file.
